wildkotetsu | 5 • Wild Tiger • [Action]

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5 • Wild Tiger • [Action]

[He wakes up groggily from the sedatives and decides it's entirely fine to try to walk with what's left of it in his system.

The first thing he doesn't notice is that instead of walking on two feet, he's staggering around on four; the reason being, he's just a silly old tiger, one with poor memory and very poor human skills, possibly because he has none whatsoever; the train of thought a human would have is lost on him—there are trees and he knows they are good for scratching claws on. There's snow on the ground from a night's snow a few days prior, and he's aware it's wet and cold.

He's also aware of something squeezing his wrist uncomfortably. He gnaws the shit out of his watch before he gives up and let's it stay on his kitty wrist, accompanying a extremely-stretched bracelet of beads.

And he's hungry. And still tired. Mmm... Sleep is good.

sleeping tiger, unhidden tiger

There might be a tiger finding a place to sleep around you; be it in your room—a window or an opened door, perhaps—in your bed, on your couch. There might be a wild jungle cat just sleeping it up. There might be one out on the path curled up snoozing. Or... for some people, he might recognize your house or apartment and sneak in to sleep in your abode or on your step.

Either way, there's a tiger with green wings hanging around.

Or.

You may wake up to find a strange sound in the morning... The sound of shuffling, of glasses breaking, of cupboards and fridges being broken. That is because this confused tiger, caught between its natural and unnatural side, can't for the life of him figure out how he works this thing or how he recognizes the shapes of certain objects. Like handles. Which he breaks pretty easily. He's a big-ass creature, you know.

Walking in may reveal wraps and plates and misc. things on the floor; he's possibly enjoying a nice uncooked chicken breast or ripping your cereal box to shit. In fact, he might just bust into the restaurant, grocery store, or any other place with food so that he can devour it.

Don't worry, though. He's a pretty friendly tiger, for the most part; as in, he won't try to eat you. Because as animal as he is, he hasn't forgotten what he is: that thing being that he's a dumb but relatively heroic fella. His hazy mind vaguely recalls this strange desire... Can't go beating people up and ripping out their innards, y'know.]

[[ooc: all replies coming from

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....

[Fiiiine. He rises his four or so feet in height and walks over, shoving his nose into one of the hands; you wanna' dope around? He can totally do that. As illustrated now, when he shoves at Sanji's knee playfully with his side.

Just no more rocks and we're good, buddy.]

[... It worked.

Pardon his surprise, Sanji expected this to get ugly before it smelled of roses. He celebrates his moment of triumph with a satisfied grunt, automatically racing his hand over the tiger's head and ears before he realizes what he's doing.

It's like Pumpkin if she were twenty times her size and ate deer instead of fish.]

You're not much of a shitty tiger, are you? [He turns and starts walking properly, though slowly, just in case his acquaintance runs off] C'mon. This place is important. I can't let you trash it.

[Meh, fine. He'll be glad to follow, anyway; feels like the right thing to do. Not sure why, but it is. Maybe it's something about your voice... :|a

He follows, leaving heavy footprints in what's left of the small traces of snow, grass bending under the weight. Best lead him well, Sanji, if you want to spare any patches of flowers from a paw. Maybe try to creep after a squirrel if you're not mindful.]

[Sanji is watching like a hawk; the moment it even looks like the tiger's paws might stray too far, he pulls lightly at one of the ears with a chiding "Oi oi", trying to scoot the beast over.

Which is harder than it looks. In the weight department, the tiger could probably bench press Sanji.]

Why the hell do I have to babysit you? [Another grudging sigh as he bumps into Kotetsu before he tramples on another patch of flowers] Be careful!

[Mmmrrr. He swivels his ears in displeasure at that, but it can only do so much when you pull on it anyway. He offers an equally grudgeful push back with his head, but that's about as much of a confrontation as Tigertetsu can really muster.

Oi, oi, don't be a bully, Sanji. It's rude.

Did he just... stick his tongue at you, when you looked at him? Naaah. That had to have been just a weird coincidence thing.]

[Sanji hasn't been around many tigers in his life - most of them he had to kick out of his way - but is this... normal behavior? The result of a mallynap? Or maybe just the way tigers act on some backwards planet?

ALSO HE SAW THAT TONGUE. Accident or not, he nearly sticks his own back at you. But no, that would be silly.]

Don't give me that look. [He doesn't care if you don't understand; Sanji will talk at you, and you will like it.] It's your own damn fault for charging in here. [bumping him back, though this time it's merely payback, and it's not very hard either.] Who knows how soon they'll grow back.

[:|

He bumps you back again.

Heheheh.

Is he standing proudly, like he's awesome? I think so.]

...

[BUMP]

[`_`

...

BUMP]

[ALkadhofif topple.]

I'LL KILL YOU, BASTARD!

[THIS FACE, while he's busy strutting around Sanji's defeat. Awwww yeaaaaah. I still got it, man, I still got it. HUEHUEHUEHUE.]

Tch. Get the hell away from me before I kick you into a tree, shitty fleabag. [He gets back on his feet, brushing dirt and dead grass off his pants]

Finish your victory lap so we can go. [Or he'll leave you behind. B|]

[Awww, don't be a sore loser about it. He cautiously struts back over, bumping his forehead into Sanji's arm. We cool, man? Oiiii, Sanji, don't be all grumpy about it, I was just teasing. :(]

[... He really hopes you're not secretly a villager, or he'll have a hard time explaining later why his hand gradually migrates over to your ears and starts scratching behind them.

Sue him; he likes cats. Even stupid ones that act suspiciously human at times.]

[Ooooh, yes, that's the spot.

... You're so hosed when I turn back into a dopey human guy.

Once they're out of the area Sanji seeks so carefully to guard, Kotetsu takes the hint and finally tromps around heavily, looking up at the chef as if he's asking permission to be a total forest-wrecker.

MAAA, COME ON, ALL THESE TREES AND FURRY ANIMALS AND GRASS TO EAT.]

[Give him a second. He needs to double-check and make sure they're in the clear - not a flower in sight - before he turns to Kotetsu in mild exasperation. His eyes briefly close as he pulls out a fresh cigarette, bringing it to his lips and muttering around it]

Do what you want, idiot.

[OH GOOD, because I had to piss like a racehorse. Don't mind me over here behind the bushes. He trots back over, plops down on the grass, and lifts his paw up gingerly toward Sanji.

Oi.

Oi you.

Oi.

Come here, curly. Hey.]

[While Kotetsu is doing his business, Sanji warms his hands in his pockets and contemplates taking off. The flower field is safe and while he hasn't yet figured out if the tiger is a villager or New Feather... well, shit, it's a fuckin tiger. That counts for something, right?

But then he's back before the chef can make a decision, lifting his paw like he wants something.

... Alright. He carefully steps over, equal parts curious and cautious. The tiger won't hurt him - that much is certain - but Sanji doesn't feel like getting trolled either and having to kick that orange ass]

What?

[He wrinkles his nose...

and slaps that cigarette in half.

`_` it smelled disgusting.]

[Oh hell no.]

You wanna die, you shitty throw rug?!

[...

He

slaps a paw over the destroyed cigarette

and grinds it out with his pad

`__` p o k e r f a c e]

[Note to self: Light another cigarette before the day is through and blow the smoke straight up his shitty nose.

Until then, he'll have to be satisfied with clonking his shoe over the tiger's head.]

[OWOWOWOWOW

BACK TO COWERING AND WHIMPERING I'M SORRY GEEZ. Maybe if I hide under my paws long enough you won't hit me anymore. It's not my fault that smelled awful! щ(ﾟДﾟщ)]

That's what you get, asshole! [yes, you're the asshole here. REMEMBER IT.

He's about to pull out another nicotine stick, too, so tough shit] And don't give me that damn whimpering. What kind of tiger are you? [Opening carton, groping for a stick... and groping... more groping...

...

It's around the fourth go-around that he finally pulls it up to inspect its emptiness, curly eyebrow twitching, just in case there's one hiding in the corner. But nope. Nada. That had been his last one.]

I'm feeding you to Luffy.

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