wildkotetsu | 1 • Paperboy Hat • [Action/Voice]

[Start of the day: waking up flopped across a bar counter missing a shirt with a monster headache.

The day before: nothing at all like this or leading up to this.

It makes him wonder. Kotetsu T. Kaburagi, rolling off the table in alarm, slams face-first into the floor with a muffled grunt, before patting around for a bar stool to use for leverage. And he drags himself up, his entire face pounding now—

Oh, this place is apparently closed. Or maybe just really empty today (feel free to prove that last point). Because the doors are shut, the lights are dimmed, and he's flopping himself back up like a half-baked penguin to a seat that is next to a lot of empty seats. Hoooo, my head is killing me. First thing to notice, his side was nearly entirely healed up. The remnants of a burn were barely visible in the room. The second, the wings. The wings that were attributing to his headache. The things that only birds should have.

Those wings.

Alright, alright. He's obviously just tripping some heavy balls right now. As he leaves the building looking unbelievably confused, he messes with the journal. It... sort of reminds him of stuff back home, only... he's pretty sure paper doesn't work like this. There are people talking on it. He can read their stuff. Er, watch it, even.]

[Voice A]

Oi, oi, what's the big idea here? Where's my city at, huh?

... Did I get dumped in the countryside?

[Mrrr. Ojisan isn't much liking the cold air—he lets out a biting sneeze, before mumbling,]

I must be going crazy... Talking to books...

[Doesn't matter! What does is finding some clothes that isn't showing off his poor cold bod. He's partially successful, but not entirely. He finds his very own clothes—but. But there are important things missing.]

[Voice B]

Aaa, if anyone sees a few things, could you tell me? A really cool paperboy hat, for one. Can't find it anywhere. [he rubs his noses, trying to sound casual about this] I found my watch, but I'm still looking out for a ring... It's just a normal silver band, but it's pretty important. If you find it, could y'let me know?

[If you'll excuse him, he's got a item shop to dig through with determination.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You're a Hero?

[GRUMBLE GRUMBLE]

Just what the world needs, more smartass heroes around...

What's your NEXT power then?

[WHAT'S WITH THE 'TUDE, he's the best hero, and don't you forget it.

And can he admit he doesn't know what NEXT power is? Of course not.]

Now, if I told you, what would the fun be in that? I'm more one for demonstration.

...

[He is so unimpressed. YOU HAD THE ATTITUDE FIRST.]

What's your Hero name, then?

[He's the original smartass superhero.]

They call me Iron Man. But I'm going to take a wild guess and say you don't know who that is.

Iron man...?!

[OH MY G--]

Never heard of you, nope.

[Oh. :C]

Are you some kind of vigilante, or are you sponsored?

[Wow, rude. WAY TO GET HIS HOPES UP, MAN.]

I'm a vigilante, sure. But I also sponsor myself, I guess you could say. One of the benefits when you own your own multi-billion dollar company.

... Multi-billion dollar company? Where exactly are you from?

[why have i never heard of you]

The mystical land of the United States of America. Ring any bells?

[He wouldn't be surprised with a 'no'.]

Well, yeah. It's the country I'm from; doesn't sound so mystical to me.

I'm just surprised I never heard about a billion-dollar self-sponsored hero called Iron Man in America before... Ever been to Sternbild City?

[Welp, coulda fooled him.] Newsie, I've been all over the world, and I have never heard of a place called Sternbild City. Oh, you must be from one of the other United States.

.........

I wasn't aware there was more than one.

[B^| this is me, thinking you're either crazy or full of shit.]

[Oh, he loves sharing this one.]

There sure is. Last time I took a tally, there were...let's see. Five? Five, I think. Five alternate realities of the world I'm from. And that's just me.

Ha, cute. Nice try, but I can already tell you're just messing with me.

Go pick on someone else, huh?

And leave you totally naive going into this brave new world? Nah, I'll pass. I wouldn't be a very good hero, in that case.

If you're even a hero. You're not very good at handling citizens...

That's why I have a personal assistant. Doesn't mean the people don't love me, anyway. I'm a pretty popular guy.

... That poor assistant's in over their head...

Being a good Hero has nothing to do with popularity! The number one job is keeping the people safe and stopping the crime around them! Who cares about anything else?

Hardly. Pepper's capable--never mind. [He...doesn't want to talk about her right now. Or think about her. Or what she would say if she saw his house right now.]

Oh, well, if that's a hero's job--thank you for clearing that up, by the way, I had no idea--then I'd say I'm doing a pretty damn good job.

[OMG I HATE YOU WHY ARE YOU SO ANNOYING.]

Sitting around teasing confused people with headaches is your idea of being a hero, is it? Maa, I'll make sure to let the others know they're doing it wrong.

[MISSION ACCOMPLISHED?]

Hey, Newsie. Just because I'm a superhero doesn't mean I can't have a sense of humor. Humor. You should try it some time. You might even like it.

Sorry, I seemed to have lost all my humor waking up with a brain-splitting headache in a place I've never been in. But thanks for nothing, anyway.

Would you like some cheese with your whine?

[Dohohoho, classic. Still got it, Tony.]

[You son-of-a...! >:^E]

No, I'd like an ice-back and maybe a soda. But thanks anyway.

[HANGING UP. GRUMPILY NOW. HMPH.

I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO.]

1 • Paperboy Hat • [Action/Voice]

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