[He clenches his jaw at that, fingers curling more tightly around the thick fabric. He's angry at himself, angry that he'd let what happened happen. There were so many things he could have done differently, and it wrecks him to think of those opportunities long since lost.]
It's my fault. [it's low, on his breath] I wasn't—
[good enough? strong enough? smart enough?
He could have figured out a better plan, or dodged faster, or fuck, even running could have done something. He was just... Dammit, he was too confident that he could reach her, but Pao-Lin was scared and changed and not herself. What was he thinking? He wants to sit and shake and let it all fuel something angry - but being angry takes so much energy, and it only leaves him more trampled and low.]
I watched him—
[bleed out, laying on him, neither unable to move. All they could do was watch the other's body failing... only one of them actually made it to the clinic. His hands move to his face, as he slides his fingers through his bangs and clasps, squeezing his eyes shut tight.
He keeps himself from crying again, but it hardly stops the strangled noise of ache that follows. He feels like he's going to be sick, and it's a good thing he hasn't eaten anything in days, he thinks. He's hollowed out.]
[Action/Forest]
It's my fault. [it's low, on his breath] I wasn't—
[good enough? strong enough? smart enough?
He could have figured out a better plan, or dodged faster, or fuck, even running could have done something. He was just... Dammit, he was too confident that he could reach her, but Pao-Lin was scared and changed and not herself. What was he thinking? He wants to sit and shake and let it all fuel something angry - but being angry takes so much energy, and it only leaves him more trampled and low.]
I watched him—
[bleed out, laying on him, neither unable to move. All they could do was watch the other's body failing... only one of them actually made it to the clinic. His hands move to his face, as he slides his fingers through his bangs and clasps, squeezing his eyes shut tight.
He keeps himself from crying again, but it hardly stops the strangled noise of ache that follows. He feels like he's going to be sick, and it's a good thing he hasn't eaten anything in days, he thinks. He's hollowed out.]